Musical aspirations

So I’m attempting to learn to play the ukulele.

I am a nerd of epic proportions.

Other instruments I have picked up and lamely tried to master during my lifespan include the following, in order of attempt:

Piano

Guitar

Keyboard

Clarinet

Bells (as in a bell choir!)

Guitar

Tin Whistle

Piano

Tin Whistle

Ukulele

Clearly my previous attempts demonstrate that I have very little aptitude for learning music.  To be fair, most of those attempts were on my own, with a few exceptions, like my first piano, wherein I had lessons given to me by my best friend’s mom who was a lovely pianist and gave me lessons for free all because I was an amazing friend to her daughter.  Or she pitied me.  Sadly we moved after a mere three months of those lessons beginning.  Those three months were lovely though because I loved my friend’s mom, who has subsequently passed and left a gaping hole in the universe.

Additionally, I picked up the clarinet in high school for a beginning band class I took with a friend.  I’m not going to lie.  That was fun, even though I sucked hard.  My friend was first chair.  I would have been 20th or 50th or 100th if there had been the option.  Instead I believe I was second by default.  Yay mediocrity!

In fact, that teacher is the only teacher that ever kicked me out of a class in my entire life.  That, of course, had more to do with the fact that we were 17 and 18 years old, and he was something like 24, straight out of school.  Our insignificant age difference did not do much to lend him any credibility as we saw him more as a peer than anything.  Except that peer kicked me out of class for being obnoxious and making fun of him.  I was so amazed he was kicking me out to sit in a timeout chair outside of the classroom that he had to convince he of how serious he was.  Oh, Matty Hanson.  It makes me laugh now.  Can’t have your students undermining your authoritah.

I also did beginning keyboard in high school.  That was by the former band teacher though, who eventually became the vice principal.  I believe he may still be the vice principal.  I had a couple of run-ins with him thanks to my English teacher who let me and my two friends out of class at our every whim to work on something theater related.  Running lines?  Not likely.  More like playing cards or hanging out and ditching class.  But always with a hall pass.  Thank you, Mr. Yudin!

Oh, and the bell choir was something I did in college with my musically talented roommates.  I even did a performance with them for Christmas.  To say that I sucked so hard that there is still a cool breeze that blows through in the exact same spot I stood on that stage would be an understatement.  Gale force winds, rather.  While the experience was amazing. my particular performance was lacking in all of the areas that truly mattered.

The list above does not mention my time in choir classes or groups for church either.  Oh, sure, I love to sing.  But again, sucking wind comes to mind.

Anyway, so now I’m picking up the ukulele.  I’ve been playing my grandfather’s and attempting to hearken back to any of the guitar I remember that he and my mom taught me.  It’s surprisingly fun, and I might even go take real-life, regular lessons from an actual person who knows how to play.  I’ve been practicing enough that my fingers are aching and bruised, and I’ve managed to wear my strumming finger’s fingernail down.  When it hits bone I won’t practice as much and will give it a rest, much to the delight of my husband’s bleeding ears.

The playing that is.  Not the nerdiness.  I have an endless supply of that.