[Brownie points if you can name that movie.]
I started the day by vomiting violently. Of course, to be fair, I don’t know of any other way to vomit but violently. There are some people I know that can be discreet and go about it unnoticed. I’m not one of them. If I am throwing up, my neighbors, three blocks over, the store down the road and the local news stations all know that I have indeed vomited. I try to be quiet. I try to be discreet. It’s just physically impossible when your insides are being turned into your outsides.
Kalina came running into the bathroom when I started. Unfortunately, she was still asleep when it happened, and we only have one bathroom, so I had no choice. My heaving woke her up, which can’t be a fun way to wake up. She also doesn’t realize that I am incapable of speaking or muttering anything but that vomit sound, so her questions of sleepy concern were answered by a lot of head nodding and grunting until finally I had a moment where I could say, “I’m okay,” and shoo her out the door.
Later she and AJ would amuse themselves by recounting how horrifying the sound was. Jason reported that AJ had this to say: “Gross”.
No kidding, kid.
I spent the rest of the morning half afraid I’d do it again and half afraid I wouldn’t.
I also had to work. So here I sat, an aching belly, racing to meet a deadline.
And then Jason — well, he made the mistake of going into the room to change into his day clothes, and I could see him in the mirror from my desk. And he took a brief rest by lounging on the bed for longer than 30 seconds. So I watched him thinking he was stretching his back or on the phone or pondering the wisdom of his belly button. But he just laid there, doing nothing. And in an volcanic explosion I nearly took his head off. I believe something was something along the lines of if I can sit here holding in my guts and still be upright working, he can get his <censored> off that bed and <censored><censored><censored>.
It wasn’t my finest hour.
My family has to put up with a lot from me.
This afternoon I started to turn a corner, ate some soup and things seemed to be okay. No clue where on earth the vomit came from, but I do know I spent much of the night awake with a stomach ache last night.
I hate stomach aches. I really, really do.
Tonight there isn’t a sign of the sickness. So it makes me start thinking about the whole hopeful vomiting thing.
For any wondering, the answer is negative. The most obvious answer is not the answer to this riddle.
The bad thing is when I got sick this morning it seemed to take it out of me, so I’ve been a sappy, whiny brat all day. And I’m paying for it tonight by having to stay up late to finish work. And tomorrow is going to be even crazier than today was.
Hopefully Tuesday starts off significantly more pleasant!