I missed a day, and I didn’t even know it!
Last night we ventured out into the frozen tundra (or what felt to me to be the frozen tundra at least) to watch Jason play in the local Victorian parade. For those that don’t remember, he plays a bass drum in a Scottish pipe band. And yes, he wears a kilt. And bangs the big drum and looks fancy in his uniform. And scrumptious. And delicious.
(And because I know you’re wondering, no, he did not go traditional with the *ahem* kilt because it was 25 frakking degrees. I had visions of two sun-dried raisins after being in the frigid cold. I’ve been told that was not the case. In case you were wondering, too. I’m thinking you were because you’re all nosy just like I am!)
Did I mention the deliciousness it is for me to see my husband in a kilt? Just wanted to be sure I covered those bases. This half Irish and part Scottish girl goes weak in the knees. Just saying.
Today he rode in the local toy run (motorcycle speak) for Toys For Tots. Except he didn’t get to ride. Instead his Harley acted like a big Nancy boy and decided to sit this one out. It’s being taken care of at the local Harley shop as we speak.
I’m not going to lie. I cried some tears at the prospect of spending MORE money on ANOTHER vehicle.
I might have even suggested we get rid of all of our vehicles and start taking public transit, despite how crappy public transit is here.
We got a huge chunk of our Christmas shopping done, and we even managed to do it WITH the kids.
I may have suggested Andy point out the exact Star Wars something-or-other that he was wanting because we needed to get a toy for a needy child.
Motherhood manipulation at its finest, right?
My favorite was when he said, “Dang, I wish I had asked Santa for THIS present, TOO!”
“Oh, honey, he’ll probably know!”
Manipulation! Also delicious!
And then today we ran errands all over the place. And we hadn’t eaten for a few hours, and we were starving. So when we stopped for gas Jason decided to run in and see what sugar-free options they have available to drink because we were thirsty and cold and wanted something to tide us over until we got home.
Of course, we’re not coffee drinkers, so us going into Starbucks is like — well, it’s like me going into a Wet Seal or a 5-7-9 or whatever other hokey skinny-only clothing stores there are and asking for their plus size section. It’s kind of dumb really.
So Jason goes in and asks for sugar-free caffeine-free alternatives. Well, they suggested a sugar-free decaf frappuccino. But decaf still has a little bit of coffee in it. But apparently this Mormon wanted to walk on the wild side, so he got us each a sugar-free decaf caramel frappuccino.
So he brings it to me and I grill him about what they said with it being sugar-free on account of the fact that it tasted entirely too good to be true.
Also, Jason and I have been low-carbing* it with a pretty good degree of success, so I didn’t want to break that up at all.
His answers seemed to point to it indeed being sugar-free, so we drank away, getting us home to make dinner.
And when I logged in to the Starbucks website to add the carb count to my list…
I SERIOUSLY DIED.
I’m typing from beyond the grave now where I guess carb counts won’t matter that much. BUT STILL. EVEN NOW, EVEN though carb counts don’t count, I’M STILL UPSET ABOUT THIS!
I consumed a whopping 67 carbs tonight after drinking a stupid little drink.
Perhaps it was God’s way of telling me that decaf is cheating.
Or perhaps it’s the universe’s way from making me feel even remotely successful in my weight loss so far.
Either way, NOT COOL, STARBUCKS!
We even called them to be sure because, honestly, Jason could not have explained that we wanted it sugar-free any clear. Over the phone the girl tells us that, oh, hey, the mix has sugar in it, but the syrups they add later are sugar-free.
BIG WHOOP, Chicky! You could have added a maraschino cherry on top, and it’d still mean only one thing: I’M TOTALLY SCREWED TODAY! And it wasn’t even something WORTH IT like a hunk of chocolate or a piece of toast or a peanut M&M.
So now I’m moping around the house, morose and probably irritating to those around me. And my reaction to all of this is very telling. I mean, aside from the fact that it’s more than double what I could have, I’m also so very much an all-or-nothing girl. I’m either in it or out of it, and there’s rarely middle ground. I don’t consider myself Type A, but in this instance I’m definitely by the book, follow the rules, letter of the law, blah, blah, blah. And I beat myself up if I so much as move an inch to the left or the right too far.
Seriously, in my head right now I’m thinking that my day is ruined… no, my LIFE! It’s ruined! The 11 pounds I’ve lost? They’re going to be back on WITH INTEREST!
Though, that wouldn’t be that far-fetched considering how messed up my body is and just clings on to weight like I’m hanging on a ledge about to fall into a giant crowd of cannibals.
I’ll let you know tomorrow whether we should all boycott Starbucks or not, okay? If that scale moves up? TOTALLY doing it!
Not that they’re frightened of a fat LDS girl that don’t drink coffee and apparently can’t drink any of their drinks boycotting them. But still. It’s the principle of the matter!
So that’s that!
Now, tell me, where else are you going to hear about kilts, under-the-kilt bidness, parades, flavored decaf coffee, broken motorcycles and toys? ONLY HERE, BABY! Only here!
*We are HUGE proponents of the raw food lifestyle, but we’ve had some difficulties with Jason’s blood sugars lately being that he’s diabetic and has to shoot himself every night. So we decided to give the low-carb a go — a healthy way of low-carbing without the red meat crap and all that. I know when I think Atkins or low-carb it conjurs up visions of mounds of meat and cheese, but we still believe vegetables and raw greens need to be a huge part of our diet. So far this is liveable for us. I figure me losing weight is more important at this point. And Jason keeping his blood sugars down ALSO important.